If it wasn’t already obvious from Janice’s laugh, then someone should probably fill you in — the writers of Friends want you to feel pain.
The beach house episode has become the go-to advice for jellyfish sting first-aid, even though the advice is dead-on wrong.
Monica gets stung by a jellyfish and everyone argues on who gets to pee on her. And straight-up, that’s just wrong. Alright, alright, no one’s trying to kink-shame here, so we’ll rephrase that. It’s the wrong way to treat a jellyfish sting.
Why You Shouldn’t Pee On Jellyfish Stings
You should never pee on a jellyfish sting. And surprise surprise, it’s not because it’s gross. It’s because not only does it not work, but it can also cause more pain. This is due to the nature of jellyfish stings.
What happens when a jellyfish stings you
The jellyfishes “stingers” are on their tentacles. If you pick one up, step on it, or swim into one, you’ll likely get stung. The stingers (nematocysts) themselves are on the inside of the tentacle, but they’re attached to triggers that launch them on contact.
If you make contact with a jellyfish tentacle, you’re probably setting off a whole bunch of triggers. This causes them to fire multiple nematocysts, whose barbs pierce your skin.
A. An unfired stinger:
a) Coil b) Nematocyst container
c) Tentacle d) Trigger
B. A fired stinger
a) Thread uncoiled b) Nematocyst has exited
c) Tentacle d) Trigger (Triggered) e) Barb
In addition to the barbs, jellyfish stings also deliver venom. Although few of them have deadly venom, even one causing mild pain can cause extreme pain if stung several times.
Where The Myth Comes From
The peeing on jellyfish myth stems from a basic understanding of jellyfish first-aid mixed with a basic misunderstanding of human urine. The idea is that because pee has ammonia in it, that acid can neutralize the stinging venom.
The idea behind that is right. It’s why we use vinegar on a jelly sting. Vinegar is acidic and helps to neutralize the pain. And while ammonia is acidic, there’s barely any in our pee. For everyone 100 ml of urine, there’s 0.05 g of ammonia. Which, in science, is known as not-nearly-enough-to-do-anything.
And hey, some people do have a slightly stronger concentration of ammonia. Pretty much the darker and stinkier the urine, the more ammonia (or sometimes just asparagus). But, it’s still not nearly enough to help. It’s just that much grosser.
What Happens When You Pee On A Jellyfish Sting
For one brief moment, there may be a bit of relief. The warmth of the stream can help alleviate the pain a little. But then, it’s straight-up agony. The ammonia is insufficient to do anything useful. Instead, it just spreads around the barbs, causing the hooks to spread out and bury deeper into your skin.
The affected area gets bigger, and the pain gets more intense. It’s only slightly less painful than watching Ross and Rachel’s will-they-won’t-they romance (spoiler alert: they don’t).
How To Treat A Jellyfish Sting (Without Chandler’s Pee)
For most stings, the actual treatment is neither gross nor difficult:
- Rinse the area with vinegar (30+ seconds).
- Pick out the barbs with tweezers.
- Soak in warm-hot water (20 min).
Easy-freakin’-peasy, you take home the medal with no golden showers.
Afterwards, you can take antihistamines or use topical creams to relieve itching or swelling. If there are open sores, clean them multiple times per day and apply antibiotics.
When You Need An Emergency Room
- Stung in the eyes
- Stung by box jellyfish
- Show signs of a severe allergic reaction
- The sting covers a significant area (ex. More than half your leg)
Key Takeaways
1. Don’t pee on things just because a sitcom tells you to.
TV writers don’t always do their research. Ex. Arthur was a great show, but did you know D.W. doesn’t actually stand for dimwit?
via GIPHY
2. Martha Kauffman hates you.
She hates us all. In her perfect world, we’d all be writhing in pee-soaked agony. David Crane isn’t off the hook either.
3. Don’t watch Friends.
We know everyone liked it when it came out, but it doesn’t hold up. It came to Netflix and everyone wanted to force you to watch it. Those people aren’t your real friends.
Binge-watching Friends won’t make you feel young again. It just makes you long for a time before nostalgia.
via GIPHY
