Let’s be real here, we know sharks’ parents aren’t like ours. They aren’t going to hang around eating cobb salads and giving their shark pups bratty names like Bryce and Callum. And they certainly aren’t picking up the kids from soccer practice, hiring tutors, or talking to managers.
But just because they aren’t helicopter parents, doesn’t preclude sharks from being good mothers.
What really matters here is how you define a good mother. For example, would you consider setting your kid up for a successful independent adult life good parenting? If so, sharks are awesome parents. Shark pups certainly pull that off better than all of us needy helicopter children.
Whether or not sharks are good moms is all a matter of perspective. So we’re going to throw you some facts and let you decide.
It’s a Big Freakin’ Investment
We’ll concede, human birth is a big investment too. You lounge around in your mom’s womb, ruining her day for the next 9 months.
But for sharks, 9 months is a dream gestation period. Sharks can have crazy long pregnancies. The great white shark has an 11-month pregnancy. And that has nothing on other sharks, like frilled sharks. Frilled sharks are believed to have gestation periods of 3.5 years.
Let’s be real. That’s too long. Can you get through a day without a coffee? 3.5 years of pregnancy means going 1278 days without coffee.
- 182 weeks without riding a rollercoaster
- 42 months without a drink.
- 3.5 years until their next tattoo.
Honestly, I don’t know how sharks do it.
And right when they finish, they aren’t jumping into kegels and mommy yoga, they’ve got a species to repopulate. Some sharks, like the awesomely named, shortspined spurdog (Squalus cf. mitsukurii) get pregnant immediately after giving birth. They can produce fertilization-ready eggs before giving birth. So they’re ready before the next batch before the first is even out of the oven.
Some sharks that do this are even capable of storing sperm during their pregnancy. That means they can fertilize the eggs themselves. She 👏 don’t 👏 need 👏 no 👏 good 👏for 👏 nothing 👏 man 👏.
Some sharks are even capable of virgin birth, parthenogenesis. If there’s no male to fertilize their eggs, they can reproduce asexually. This isn’t ideal since the baby is an exact clone of the mom and therefore there’s no genetic variation.
But any mad scientist can tell you, a clone shark is better than no shark.
Mrs. No Days Off
For momma sharks, pushing out babies is a full-time schedule. Not only is the gestation period long, but compared to most animals sharks have small litters (often one or two pups) and take a long time to reach sexual maturity. Combine that in with the rate people are killing off sharks, and it’s no wonder shark populations are declining around the world.
For a declining and slow to grow population, every birth is a big investment. Shark mommies have to go all out to set up their progeny for success.
Do Sharks Raise Their Babies?
There are over 400 species of shark. So normally, this is where I’d point to one species unlike all the others. But this time I can’t. Sharks don’t stick around to raise their young. They don’t give horsey rides, bounce them on their knee, or take them to the circus.
Although they don’t do any human activities that we need to thrive, they do go all out to make sure their babies can succeed.
Sharks aren’t like people. When we’re born, we’re useless. And we stay useless for years. Human babies burp, puke, and poop their way through their formative years. But sharks are born as mini versions of their adult selves.
It’s like if our babies were born standing up, dressed for work and carrying an adorable little briefcase.
Shark babies are born ready to go, but they do need some help from their mothers. Although they’re capable as far as babies go, they’re still small, vulnerable, and have a lot to learn. Shark parents need to make sure their kids have the right nutrients to become large and strong enough to survive up to sexual maturity.
If a human baby is small and weak, it’s okay, we can feed it. If a shark baby is too small and weak, it can’t feed itself.
Shark Mothers Invest in Their Babies Before They’re Born, Not After
Sure, pregnancy is tough. But ask any mom and they’ll tell you, the hardest work comes after the baby is born. The sleepless nights, constant sickness, and what about the costs? Daycare alone is like paying off an extra mortgage (not that any of us Millenials would know).
But sharks work the other way around. Their hard work and investment comes before the kids are born. Take a look at the dusky shark, for instance.
The dusky shark (Carcharhinus obscurus) was once believed to be a deadbeat mom. But more recent studies show that this isn’t true. Through a combination of evolution and the effort of each individual mom, baby duskies have earned a good chance for survival.
The sharks have evolved to expend more energy while pregnant to increase the liver size at birth. A newborn shark’s liver makes up 20% of its body mass at birth. After a few weeks, this drops by almost 75%.
This big freakin’ liver isn’t there to make them beer pong and flip cup champs. It provides them with enough sustenance to survive off of until they find a good feeding ground.
It’s basically giving their kids a brown paper bag lunch that lasts until they learn how to cook.
Do Sharks Make Milk?
“You can milk anything with nipples.” But, fish don’t have nipples. Not even the milk shark. But some sharks, like great whites, do have something called uterine milk. Uterine milk (aka Shark Milk) makes it possible for some sharks to feed their unborn babies if they don’t have umbilical cords.
Just a quick note here: Some species of sharks do have umbilical cords. And, yes, that does mean those sharks have belly buttons.
But I digress. The thing with shark milk is it’s not really much like real milk. It’s not even like penguin milk (aka ‘crop milk’), which is more of a milk analog. Those kinds of milk are made after the baby is born, they’re also both (pretty much) dairy.
Shark milk is more of an egg slurry. The fetal shark that subsides on uterine milk is eating more of an egg soup. The mom supplies unfertilized eggs for the baby to eat. It’s less like drinking a glass of milk, and more like chugging down Rocky’s egg shake.
via Gfycat
I know eggs are in the dairy section. But they aren’t dairy. I don’t know why they’re there, but I assume farmers are to blame. Just like daylight savings time.
Of course, there are other ways that sharks can feed inside the womb without an umbilical cord.
What About Shark Fetal Deathmatches?
Alright, these exist and I know it’s not great PR for mother sharks. But it is pretty freakin’ metal🎸. Sand tiger sharks are famous for their unborn deathmatches. The rules are simple. Two sharks enter. One shark leaves.
Sand tiger sharks will mate with multiple partners, and they’ll end up with a batch of fertilized eggs from a bunch of different partners. This allows them to be sure to pass on only the best genes, by running through a Hunger Games in the womb. There will often end up with two sharks growing, and the one that grows bigger and stronger eats the other. They will then survive by eating all the other fertilized eggs.
But if you think tiger sharks are wild here, they have nothing on the tamely named nurse sharks. Nurses can eat as many as 20 siblings before birth.
But, as much as none likes to think about it, siblicide is pretty common in nature. So is matricide. Take a look at emperor penguins, everyone loves those goofs. They lay two eggs. The second one is usually 60% larger. So as soon as the big egg comes out they roll the first egg out of the nest and it freezes and dies.
That’s straight up cold-blooded. But it’s also survival. The penguins couldn’t raise two hatchlings, and the small one has a low chance of survival. So they play the hands they’re dealt and morality doesn’t factor in. Because they’re penguins.
Also, speaking of eggs…
What About Egg Laying Sharks?
Some sharks have live births, some sharks lay eggs. Dropping off eggs and taking off seems like a pretty deadbeat parent approach. But a lot of sharks take pretty special care here. The Port Jackson shark, for instance, has developed intricate egg casings.
Port Jackson eggs are a corkscrew shape so they can be wedged between rocks. This protects them from currents and from predators. As well, they have two strings which trail out, further preventing the eggs from drifting out of their secure location.
Shark eggs are called a mermaid’s purse. The video below shows a bamboo shark emerging from one:
It’s a cute video, but don’t go around cutting open shark eggs. The shark needs to finish developing inside of there before the casing cracks open on its own.
Although egg-laying sharks don’t have to expend the same time and energy as goes into a live birth, they are far from careless. The locations, positioning, and casings of their eggs are all used to give their young the best chance at success.
This Is Probably A Good Time To Call Your Mom
Regardless of where you fall on whether or not sharks are good mothers, you can definitely see how much work goes into motherhood. Plus, consider that some sharks will swallow their newborn whole if it’s too small to survive. That’s sure to make your mom look good.
Haven’t called home in a while? Ease your guilt with some purchases from the Ocean Syrup Shop.
